I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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