You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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