She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
