He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
