Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
