Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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