I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize