I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
