Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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