Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize