ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
