there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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