Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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