Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
