about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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