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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
