Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
