Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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