dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
