OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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