Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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