I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
