We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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