You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
