why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you traded sex for a burrito?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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