Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
