I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
