he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
