Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
NoShamevember. You game?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Randomize
