Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
