She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize