gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
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