ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Randomize
