When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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