He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
