I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
