good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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