i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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