Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Randomize
