Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
