did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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