Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
We left an ass print on the piano.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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