At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
