The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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