i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
