i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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