She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
