I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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