I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I know her cup size but not her name....
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
