If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
