Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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