therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
How does one acquire holy water?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
