Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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