Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
