he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
