shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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