I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
